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"Let's put a smile on that face!"
―Thanos


Thanos likes to kill things and make them dead. He has an obsession with his rock candy collection and will do whatever it takes to complete it, including getting his Lucky Golden Glove to bitch slap some bitches.

Biography

Life as Fluffy

Fluffy was originally just another Humanoid Rock on a planet full of Humanoid Rocks. When he got older, he noticed that there were too many Humanoid Rocks on his planet. He tried to ask them to stop fucking each other and making babies so recklessly, but they didn't listen to him. He left his people behind while all the other Humanoid Rocks bred themselves to death so hard it threw the planet off its axis somehow.

Destroyer of Worlds

The Family Man

The Avengers

He smiles.

Guardians of the Galaxy

He threatens the blue bad guy.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

He finally gets off his ass.

After Age of Ultron

He steals the Purple Rock Candy. He blows up Zandar.

Finishing What Hella Started

Thanos invades the Asgardian refuge ship and beats the shit out of everyone. However, he neglects that they have a Hulk. Thanos makes up for this by beating the shit out of him too. Like, he REALLY beats the shit out of him. Then he kills Heimdal. He then smashes the magic rubix cube and finds the rock candy surprise inside. However, as he places it on his lucky mitten, it moves towards the purple rock candy, making it off balance, something Thanos desperately wants to fix, so he sets his children out to find the other rock candies. Then he kills Loki. Then he blows up the ship.

Family Reunion

The Bargain

Home Again

The Last Rock Candy

The Aftermath

He sits. He smiles.

Personality

Thanos suffers from a severe and crippling case of OCD and as such is unable to stomach a universe that he considers to be off balance and not it his particular perfect arrangement. This even extends to the types of items he keeps on him, carrying switchblades that must be perfectly balanced. Luckily for him on his quest to wipe half the populations of planets, he has never encountered a race with an odd number of inhabitants.

Powers & Abilities

Powers

  • Bitch Slappin
  • Sitting
  • Smiling

Abilities

  • Fisting

Equipment

Infinity-Gauntlet-Age-of-Ultron

Thanos's Lucky Golden Glove.

  • Lucky Golden Glove
  • Rock Candy: Collect all 6!