How I Became So Beautiful

Okay, so I used ta be a psychiatrist at this place called Arkham Asylum and I was assigned to the resident hot guy: Mista J. I could tell right away that there was a connection since he shared so many secrets with me and he eventually trusted me enough to make a "secret request." He was very grateful for it, I didn't know at tha time, but he tried to reward me by tryin' to make me more like him. So, he strapped me down and zapped me until he couldn't no more, I gave consent of course!

There was one more step though: he needed me to jump into a vat of chemicals like he did, like one of those trust fall things, except the only thing that catches you is a vat of chemical goo! I didn't want him to think I wasn't serious about all this, so I jumped in. Things were black for a moment, but I know my puddin' jumped in right after to make sure I was alright. I was, better than ever before actually. I felt so alive.

Fun Times

Mista J and I had some good times, lemme tell you! So much fun until Bats would show up like he always did. The party pooper. Like this one time during date night with puddin' right after he shot this guy, stupid Bats shows up and causes Mista J to drive all recklessly, he's normally a good driver, but the stress of the situation probably made him forget some stuff, like that I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Wear your seatbelts kids, or else Bats will punch you in the face underwater. But it was okay, cause I gots to kiss him a bit (not the best kisser.) Scratch that off the bucket list!


I am known to be quite vexing, but also quite charming.

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