"That was pretty wizard."
―Darth Vader

No one knows of Darth Vader's true origin. The only thing known is that he first made his appearance around the time of order 666, which was also around the same time Anakin Skywalker died. Coinsidence??? I think not!


The Kid With Incredible Acting

In what can only be described as a subtle parallel to biblical stories, Darth Vader was a virgin birth. Then he was immediately put to work as a slave, working for Alf's gambling cousin. In his free time, Vader built a fucking robot. A fucking robot that his owner didn't capitalize on. A FUCKING ROBOT.


Fuck Vader is awesome

Fuck, this was awesome.

I don't care if the other sections aren't filled up yet, because this scene was FAWKING AWESOME! So the rebels are all like, "Oh shit, the door's locked, man things can't get any worse!" But then there's this breathing and Darth Vader shows up and he's all like, "waddup noobs." So the Rebels fire their little pee-shooters at him, but Darth Vader is all like, "Fuck dat shit!" and he deflects that shit back at some of them. Then he uses his force powers to lift an asshole to the ceiling so he can slice the fucker in half!

Nothing escapes vader

Still awesome.

Then some rebel fires at him and Vader just deflects his blast back at the dumbass. Then he force pulls away all their guns and just starts hacking the fuckers to pieces. Then one guy is about to fire, but then Vader force choke slams him against a wall. But then the Rebels think a fucking door can stop Vader. Ain't no fucking door gonna stop Vader, so Vader stabs a fucker and opens the door and proceeds to fuck everyone's shit up. However, a small group of rebels manage to escape, forcing Vader to badassly watch them leave, because he know's that he'll catch up to them between movies.


He is an asshole. He also thinks spinning is a good trick.

Powers & Abilities


  • Force User
    • Telkinesis:  Much like other siths, Vader can move, hover and bend objects just by using pure focus and will power.  
    • Choke: Vader has the unique ability to strangle someone using his mind alone.  Combined with Telekinesis, Vader can thrash people back and forth through the air by their neck.  Many wonder why he didn't just this power all the time.  He could pretty much kill anyone just by moving his hand a little bit.
  • Able to kick Satele Shan's ass in anything: ANYTHING! I win that argument, damnit! I WIN!


  • Stubbornness: The guy's been electrocuted, had all his limbs hacked off, was burned alive, had a limb hacked off again, and was electrocuted once again before he finally kicked it. Even then, he merely died just because his systems were failing!
  • Asthma: This guy had the ability to threaten someone or turn them on just by inhaling and exhaling.
    • "Damn, he's so sexy I can't even breath around him! Almost as if there was an invisible hand crushing my windpipe!" — Imperial
  • Spinning: It's a good trick.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.